In college, I played around for 5 years and graduated with honors and was Phi Beta Kappa. I was also heavily involved with campus life (officer in sorority, Resident Advisor, involved in other leadership roles). My parents pretty much paid for everything, although I held part-time jobs. When I graduated, I was at a loss as to what I wanted to do.
My college boyfriend, on the other hand, worked his tail off in high school to get college scholarships. He was determined to become a doctor. He worked throughout college and paid his way entirely. He appreciated where he was and took full advantage of it. He graduated and went into the Navy because they would pay for med school. He is now a doctor.
Do you think it is better to raise your children giving them the expectation that they will be paying for college themselves (i.e. figure out what you want to do and then work towards that goal yourself)? or should it just be a given that you will be paying their way (pick something and I’ll pay for it). I realize there is an in-between- a child who is passionate about something (i.e. medicine) and the parent supports them financially in college. Just want some thoughts from other people.
December 24th, 2009 at 2:11 am
Both if feasible. The child will strive to do well in school if their dollar is on the line. At the same time, if it is going to put the child in debt and the parents can afford it, that’s ideal. Even if the parents have plenty of money, to have the child pay even 25% (enough that it would hurt to lose) of it is smart on the part of the parent. Teaches the child about investment and the value of a dollar. Sometimes a life experience is far more educational than any other method.
December 24th, 2009 at 7:30 am
I think it should be a mixture of both. I believe a majority of the schooling should be paid for by the student, but if they cannot fully fund their education, the parent should step in if they can afford it. I do not believe that college is a place to find what you want to do because that is a waste of money. You should already know what you want to go to school for. I understand that sometimes doesn’t work out, but I wouldn’t want to fund my child’s college when they are changing their major every semester.
December 24th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
I think the parents should help out by starting a savings fund. I believe that a child will chose a career that they will like if they have to pay themselves and are less likly to drop out of college. But if you leave the intire amount of tuition up to your child they might drop out because it is too much or not even go because they think they can make more money faster without an education
December 24th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
I think parents should completely cover the first year. After that, it’s up to the family situation; I think it’s good for kids to pay for books and extras with the parents paying tuition, but sometimes, it can’t work out that way.
December 24th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
im still in college and i pay all my college fees my self at 14 years of age.
i donjt mind but i do wish that my parents could help a bit. and if your wondering where i get all the money for school …. i do respite care for my uncle,,,
December 24th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
my parents paid for my college. my opinion is that as long as the child is working hard, getting good grades, and is on the right track it is great for parnets to pay for school. that way when the child graduates and starts working they dont have any loan debt hanging over their head. HOWEVER, if the child is not going to class, getting bad greades, and is misbehaving the parent should STOP paying for school.
and the person below me is wrong. College is a great place to figure out what you want to be in life. it is foolish to think that a person who is fresh out of highschool has any idea what they want to do. the first 2 years of college are the same for everybody. you take the basic required classes and persue different interests to see what you want to be. In the first to years of college i changed my major 3 times.
December 24th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
I don’t think either way is necessarily the best - I just think it depends upon that family’s situation. What is the financial status of the parents? Is the child responsible? Does he or she have goals set? Getting good grades? Involved in other activities? Holding a job of some sort? Stopping at 2 year general degree or going for a Doctorate? Living far away, outside of the parent’s home, or with the parents? What sort of scholarships, grants, and loans is he or she eligible for? The list of variables is endless.
There can definitely be pros and cons to either way!
My experience was that my parents are middle class. I spent 5 years in college - 3 getting my basic 2 year degree (while working full time), and 2 more getting a Bachelor’s degree (again while working full time - night shifts at that). The first year I lived with parents, the second I lived with my Grandmother to help her out, the third I lived with my parents again, and the fourth and fifth I was married so I had moved out for good. I paid my way through the first 3 years completely, with no loans or grants, and no help from my parents. When I transferred to the 4 year college for my Bachelor’s degree, I took out loans which my parents agreed they would help me pay off in the future IF I did well. I graduated with a 3.6 GPA and so my parents are now paying off the loans I incurred during those last 2 years.
Basically, I had a mix of paying my own way and my parents paying for me. As you could read, I was very busy during my college years - juggling full time school, full time work, and for awhile even being my grandmother’s “caretaker” on top of full time school and full time work. And in the last 2 years, I planned a wedding/got married and had to juggle that aspect of life as well. It was not always easy but I am glad I had to work for things. I am equally as glad (and thankful) that my parents were willing and able to help me, as well.
December 25th, 2009 at 5:01 am
My sister i beleive is abusing what my mother and her father have given her. Shes 18 and a freshmen and has parted a good percent of the past 2 months ( she had to go early for education reason) i beleive if she had to pay for more that she would be more responsible. On the other had my husband has a tuition waver becuase hes native American so he doesn’t have to pay for any of his college tuition and is very appreciative of what he has. right now hes taken a semester off to figure out what he wants to do becuase he doesn’t want to abuse what hes getting. I think it depends on the child and there parents. So people don’t finish college because of the financial strain ( like me but im married, and have a child so its a little different) while other work there buts off. And same for people whos college is payed for… some abuse there parents helping while others see it as an advantage and take it as it is and work hard to keep in there parents good graces.
December 25th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
I’m in college right now and I can tell you an honest answer to this question. Please help your child pay for college, if not all, at least some. I think it is such a selfish thing to say “okay it’s your 18th birthday, now figure out a way to go pay for an entire college education yourself!”. I worked very very hard in high school, graduated in the top 10, did an International Baccalaureate program and still didn’t get many scholarships. I had to pay for almost everything myself and I saw so may opportunities pass me by because I couldn’t afford them. Also, I couldn’t even afford to go to a good school for my major. My parents were never there for me, either to say “I’m proud of you” or with finacial help and it really took a toll. I have a part time job but it is still so difficult to pay for college. Please don’t do what my parents did you me, encourage you child, be there for him/her and help her through college. I think it is great to work part time, let her pay for books, food, gas and other expenses but please help him/her. It will make a big difference. I know it would have made a difference for me.
December 25th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
My parents paid for college for my older siblings because they said it was a huge relief to graduate and not have to worry about student loan debts. One of my siblings jumped right into his career and is happy at his job. My parents are paying for my college and I’ve known what I want to do since I was five. (No, I don’t want to be fairy princess,I don’t think you can major in that anyway) but my other sibling also went through a few jobs before realizing what he wanted from life two years after getting a bachelors and became a lawyer. My sister-in-law went to college with her father’s dream of being a lawyer. She did not realize until after two years of college that she wanted to teach and she’s pretty good at it.